Sunday, April 7, 2013

I Desire....

I work as a household worker for Mr & Mrs Uma Kant. In words more cryptic I'm a maid. My days go in the same drudgery. I spend the whole day running errands for Mrs. Kant. Her kids belong to a special specie which has a morbid fascination for everything which stand as an epitome of raw disgust.

By this colorful backdrop lives a "plain Jane" whose melancholy personality somehow fades out the colorful diaspora of this household. This pensive character belongs to no one but me. I give a chance look at myself in the mirror & come across a persona which can be easily lost in the milling crowd. I see the pretty ladies on the television & long to be one of them.

Sometimes I do steal knick-knacks from Mrs. Kant's dressing table. Perhaps a piece of shiny shimmery bangle or stray bindi. She has been benevolent enough to give me few of her old tattered dupattas.

I return to my small room in the night. To the outsiders it won't look anything better than a dungeon but to me it is the escape route to the world full of fantasies. I carefully lock my room & switch on the lone, dim bulb. It throws light on a room which wears a rather dismal appearance. The walls are all scarred & lonely spider plays in its own web at one corner. A broken cot & an iron box are my only belongings. I playfully refer to my iron as "Pandora's Box". As soon as I open the lid of the box, I find myself staring at prized possessions which I have either stolen or received as gift from this household.

I quickly wear the bangles, all in asynchronous shapes & sizes, entwine myself in the dupattas as daintily as possible. I close my eyes & take a deep breath, for me this moment brings with itself a feeling of ecstasy & divinity. To the onlookers I may look a colorful puppet hopping away but I do not care. This hour of night when the whole world sleeps i give vent to my sleeping emotions & wants. I try to emulate the dance steps I had seen those lovely ladies performing on the television. The next half an hour prove to be the best time in my life. The tattered floor of my room becomes my stage & I become the dazzling damsel gyrating to the tunes which go on playing in my soul.

Tired & battered, I look outside the tiny window towards the shining stars. My expressions doleful, contours of my eyes brimming with tears. I make a wish which carries with itself a deep longing of life full of myriad hues of hope & opportunities.

Enwrapped in my belongings I lie down on my wooden cot & try to sleep. My bangles & dupattas gives me surreal feeling of fulfillment. Against the backdrop of colors & emotions I envisage tomorrow full of promises. The thought that I would have a lot of laurels in my kitty & would scintillate as the biggest star in the night sky becomes the silent prayer on my lips as I silently doze off.

"In the world of fantasies an ugly duckling transforms into a beautiful & enchanting swan."